2013: The Top of the Heap

It's that time of the year again, the end. When everyone reflects on all the things that happened this year. Well I'm going to participate in that by in no particular order listing my favourite horror films of 2013.

Lords of Salem

I've been procrastinating with the writing of this post for over a month, so finally without further ado let's talk about Salem. I keep wanting to call this movie Salem's Lot, but it is nothing like Salem's Lot, there's not a single vampire to be seen. The Lords of Salem is Rob Zombie's latest offering and his take on the subgenre of witches and satanism. Of course it stars his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as the recovering drug addict/radio DJ Heidi Hawthorne who's family has a dark secret.

Now we the film opens with some gratuitous nudity, but not from the buxom young women most horror aficionados are accustomed to. These women are hardcore witches living in the woods outside of the beloved Salem Massachusetts (not Salem Oregon) and time has certainly had an effect on their devil worshipping bodies. Of course after our history lesson in events of the past we are brought to the present day and a local radio station where our protagonist works alongside a dirty hippie guy and the actor who was in Dawn of the Dead and From Beyond, if you want to know who that is IMDb is quite fun and easy to use.

First time I watched it I thought the movie was about an adorable dog coping with the shortcomings of it's master.

Now our DJ's receive a strange record from "The Lords" which, because this is a horror movie and nothing bad can come of it, they play on the radio. The song on it has a strange effect on the town and drives most of the plot from here on out. We also meet some rather strange women who have a special interest in Heidi Hawthorne.

Today's lesson: Unless it's from your Grandmother, free teatime should never be trusted.

So you're watching the movie and you're pretty sure that you understand what's going on... then the last 20 minutes arrive. If you are able to just lose yourself in the imagery and forget about the plot it's great, but I was left with a feeling of confusion and gratitude that I wasn't epileptic by the end of the movie. Because I knew the plot pulls a disappearing act my second viewing of the film was much more pleasant as I could just revel in the twisted, artsy shots that served as the climax and ending of the movie. I would say that while I would have loved a more satisfying ending, it was still one of the better horror movies I've seen this year, so if given the opportunity you should give it a chance.

If I get a pet goat Satanists will leave me alone right?

And Hallowe'en Came to an End (Been Blogging for 2 Years)

Jack o lanterns, they just get better with age.

Well it's a few days late, but the most wonderful time of the year has come to an end. And somehow over the past two years I've had over 9000 clicks on this here blog. Wondering why I wasn't posting on Hallowe'en? That's because I was busy watching women strip whilst dousing themselves in blood. Yes, I went to the Bloody Betty Black Mass, of course a few movies were watched prior to the 9pm show (Addams Family and Trick 'r Treat if you were wondering) as well as the completion of my pumpkin carving task and getting my costume prepped and ready. Now you can read on for photos of my pumpkins, an assessment of the Bloody Betty show and my annual list of all the horror movies I've watched.

Dunbar Haunted House and Kitty "Frights" Halloween Show

Well something tragic has happened to Halloween here in Vancouver, it was announced that this year would be the last year of the Dunbar Haunted House. Having conquered six haunted houses already this year I took my friends up on an offer to go to it this past Sunday. The theme for this year was horror throughout the ages (they billed it as "The Terror of History" and it did not disappoint. The rooms were packed full of props, animatronics, mannequins and actors displaying everything from the horrors of Egypt up to Asylums and slashers. While my insider knowledge allowed me to predict where most of the actors were I was still surprised by some of them and had a sense of impending doom & panic the entire time. Here are the few photos we were able to take, they are all outside since of course there's no photography inside the house.

Prior to Topher learning the rites of succession in the kingdom.

But Anubis, you were always my favourite Egyptian deity!

Enough to make any parent proud.

Is that a canon or are you just happy to see me?

Topher is reunited with his mummy.

Now after we went to the haunted house we decided to attend the Kitty Nights Halloween burlesque show at The Biltmore. As you recall the last burlesque show I went to, The Rock Apocalypse, was rather short on burlesque (to be fair it wasn't supposed to be entirely a burlesque show). Well Kitty Nights didn't disappoint, while it wasn't big on the blood the dancing itself was the best burlesque dancing I've seen so far in Vancouver. The routines had a lot of thought put into them and were clearly well rehearsed. There was also a costume contest, but due to lack of preparedness I was not in costume so I could not enter. The winners of the contest were awesome though. The pair were dressed as Edina and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, and none of my friends understood their costumes.... The staff at the bar were all dressed as Scooby Doo characters and the host of the show was great in his Eddie costume from Rocky Horror. That show was definitely worth the low price of $7 we each had to pay to get in.

And with that I have to start prepping my costume for this year, which you will see photos of very very soon.

Treacherous Tea Time in Fort Langley

Seriously creepy teapot.

Well one of the seasonal activities I did this year was get a group of girlfriends to go to Treacherous Tea Time at The Little White House & Co. in Fort Langley. For those who don't know where Fort Langley is, it's a picturesque small town within the township of Langley that also has a national historic site where you can learn about the history of the fort and the fur trading industry.

The town even has it's own graveyard.

Now the building that the Treacherous Tea Time was in was apparently the most haunted building in Fort Langley. And I'm sure you're all wondering what exactly a Treacherous Tea Time is, well it's a Victorian tea with Halloween themed desserts and a reading of both tarot cards and tea leaves. Our group's reader used a bird themed deck and two of the cards which I got were a peacock and a vulture. I thought those were very fitting for me. I totally forgot to take pictures of our lovely food until we were almost already done so here is the sole photo I have to commemorate our creepy comestibles.

To fit in with our activities our group did our best to dress completely in shades of black and grey, I was completely inspired for this idea by the first episode of American Horror Story: Coven. We were even asked several times if we were some sort of club.

Seriously want to get a variety of black dresses now.

And here is a look at the Salon.

We also took some time to explore the town which felt like it was a movie set. In fact the last time I was there I was convinced that it was where they had filmed Trick 'r Treat. I was mistaken. But here is a look at some highlights of the town for those who haven't had a chance to be there.

The Frightening Friday: Netherworld Collectibles and Fright Nights

So back on the 11th my friend Christopher Graham (he took all the photos) and I decided to go to the opening night of Fright Nights and since we were going to be in the area we went to Netherworld Collectibles beforehand. As soon as we got into the store we were greeted by an adorable little fellow named Ladder.

I really like snakes.

I mean REALLY like snakes.

Ladder was on loan from http://www.snakeinthegrass.org/ a local snake rescue. After a little quality reptilian time we got to looking around the store which had a great assortment of movie props, posters, books, comics, movies, board games, action figures and more. Things that caught my eye were the Forbidden Planet poster and the wearable Right Hand of Doom (from Hellboy if you're not in the know).

I fell in love at Netherworld Collectibles.

Now I figured since I was in the commercial, I might as well go to Fright Nights. Speaking of Fright Nights here is the 60 second version of the commercial:

Fright Nights Commercial Creepiness

Who says you can't make money doing what you love? Well I certainly don't. Back in September I had an awesome opportunity to be on set doing what I do best, being creepy. I was working on this year's commercial for Fright Nights at the local amusement park called Playland. The commercial is now airing on some Canadian tv channels, so I suppose this is the first time folks will get to see me on their television sets in character.

Here is the 30 second version of the finished product:

It was my second night shoot and resulted in spending over 40 hours being awake with about 1.5 hours sleep, turns out I can function rather well without much sleep. The set was one of the actual haunted houses at the park as well as some outdoor parts that were more on the sinister side.

There was also a blow torch on set to "distress" some of the set dec brought in for the production. I had to keep telling myself "fire bad". Of course I ended up spending quite some time in the make-up chair and loved every minute of it.

They didn't even get my good side.

I was so happy with how I looked I even took a few selfies to show all boys just how pretty I was.

Wanna date?

Of course I wasn't the only one to get all dolled up for the camera.

He's a vegan, because there's no cruelty to animals in cannibalism.

Then it was time to get my tree witch on for my second character in the commercial. Tree Witch twerks ensued, but this was before a certain celebrity made it uncool.

Forget #SplitsOnTrees now it's #SplitsOnMees

Then of course the evening ended with clowns, because no one likes clowns except for their fear inducing qualities. My parents were convinced I was one of the clowns in the commercial. They were wrong.

Ya want a balloon animal?

As more photos from behind the scenes come I'll be adding them to this post, so look forward to more!