Sunday, 15 January 2012

On Friday the 13th I Took a Shining to you.

HEYO! So did you have a great Friday the 13th, because I certainly did. The evening started off with catching up on the episodes "Deathday Cake" and "Two Girls One Tongue" of Todd and the Book of Pure Evil. And I'm not just talking about this show because it is Canadian, I am talking about it because it bleeds pure awesomeness like a slain Dragon of Awesometude pierced with a battle axe of badassness. Just to prove that they go the extra mile "Two Girls One Tongue" was even a ROCK OPERA! Yeah, they went there, and with great success.
Girl on the far right, that's how I get my hair cuts done. I call it the Jenny.

After I caught up with my favourite students at Crowley High I continued on to meet up with some friends and go to a midnight showing of The Shining. Now while this wasn't my first time seeing this classic film it turns out I had never seen it in it's entirety, that could have been easily predicted since the first time I saw it was on TV and usually that never bodes well for a quality screening. So it turns out I had never seen at least the first 15 minutes of the movie and I was more than just a little embarrassed about that, but not as embarrassed as I was by the fact that it took until a couple months ago to see the original Dawn and Day (you know the ones I'm talking about).  Our cinematic experience started off with a one man show with an invisible typewriter which was very well rehearsed and highly entertaining. That was followed by some trivia, where I learned a new fact. Did you know that it took 3 takes to film the scene with the blood spewing from the elevator? Well now you do, and knowledge is power. And if you want knowledge of what happens in this movie continue reading, otherwise BE GONE!

Scare the crap out of her and put her in a black wig, my
mom could easily be her little sister.
Now ONTO THE FILM! First it opens with a very awkward blue title sequence, I'm not sure if all title sequences were like that in the 70s and very early 80s so I will assume that they were and not hold it against the movie. Another note about the credits, there was a man named Scatman Crofters.... he must have had some very sadistic parents to come up with a name like that. Watching this film I also realized, Shelley Duvall looks a lot like my mom. I mean I kind of always knew that since sometimes she got called Olive Oil, but now I kind of see it.

Now Jack's interview at the beginning should have been the first clue that "oh maybe taking this job won't be the safest choice in the world". The interviewer says that this is sure to be quite a change, yeah quite a change from sane to batshit crazy. Jack finds out it's completely isolated, his response, isolation is just what I've been looking for, it's not a problem for me. Maybe you should get to know yourself better because clearly isolation is a big problem for you. Oh the last caretaker went crazy and chopped his family up into tiny little pieces? An intelligent person would then run, as fast as they could, until they found the ocean, then swim to another continent. Jack's response, it appears he didn't even pay attention to what the man was saying because there is absolutely no change in his expression, then he says "That's not going to happen to me". You just signed your own death certificate or at least order for incarceration due to mental instability.

Now generally when picking a doctor to do check ups for your kid you would avoid the one who makes him lie pantsless on his bed, but not Wendy Torrance. She let him show off his scrawny little chicken legs to an old woman, at least she had the sense to stay in the room though. And when you start off a sentence about how your son got hurt with "it was purely an accident" followed by "my husband was drunk" that is just asking for a visit from social services. Then again it was a different time back then, back when children didn't need seatbelts when driving with their parents on a winding road up a cliff of doom. Times were simpler, little boys told their mothers not to worry because they knew all about cannibalism. Oh and if you are wondering where the kid from this is now, he teaches science. That's right I IMDB'd it.

Now the thing I now find scariest about this movie is that it reminds me so much of a hotel I stayed in in Spain, but the hotel I was in had a slightly creepier factor added to it by the mould you could find on the ceilings in the hallways. When Jack checks out the bed then calls the place cozy I hope I wasn't the only one who's mind instantly went to him wanting to make a loveshack with his wife in there. And when Wendy suggests he's so tired because they have been "staying up too late" I think we all know what that meant. Back to the hotel, if you see a massive labyrinth attached to a building, Run. If you are then told by the owner that it was built on an indian burial ground, RUN. If the smell of the place reminds you of burnt toast RUUUU- wait, WTF burnt toast? There are things far more ominous than burnt toast unless the sign of the devil is burnt into the toast.

When you find Jack Torrance playing a game of limo on the wall in the... lobby(I really have no clue what that massive room is called) you know he is starting to lose it. Also was I the only one who found the large amounts of high pitched noises painful? I was literally covering my ears in the theatre. Another random thought that kid has the best ugly sweaters ever. The Apollo launch? Awesome. Anyone else find the similarities between Jack's claiming he didn't hurt Danny and a little scene that goes "I DID NOT HIT HER, I DID NOT! Oh hi Mark."

Hipster in training.
And that is as much as I reviewed for the film because by that point, I just wanted to enjoy it and stay awake through the whole thing (it was after 2am and really hard to take notes in a dark theatre). I am glad that I watched this movie again because the second viewing was far more enjoyable, with suspense actually building and the slow burn appreciated by the time the payoff came.

Oh and if you have some extra cash and feel like supporting the arts, contribute to the 4Villains indiegogo campaign here: And I vow that my next Friday the 13th will involve Jason Vorhees in some manner (as long as it is not the him killing me manner).

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