Saturday, 23 June 2012


Now before we get into the movie itself I have a slight bone to pick with one of the trailers I saw... starring Ben Stiller. It was called The Watch and really should have been called The Watered Down American Version of Attack the Block. You might be saying "but the plot looks completely different" sure it looks different, but at it's heart it is the same movie: an unlikely ragtag group defend their neighbourhood against an alien invasion. I wasn't really seeing a great comparison until the scenes in the trailer where they kill an alien in a warehouse (similar to the underground parking in Attack the Block) and then they goof around with the alien, posing and such. Alright, rant over, now on to Prometheus.

Also a 40% chance of spoilers with a risk of laughter follows after the break

So first thing that stood out to me as cool is that the stasis pods are less advanced than in Alien (Prometheus is a prequel to Alien if you didn't already know that, which you should if you are reading this). In Alien we don't see any vomiting or other side effects from the pods, so clearly these are an earlier incarnation of the technology. Also I loved watching me some Michael Fassbender just doing his thing, eating, watching a movie, dying his hair and... being a robot. Why would a robot have to dye its hair? Regardless I was having a minor "Mmmm Michael Fassbender" moment.
Super surprised I couldn't find a David dying his hair meme.
So now everyone is awake and finished vomiting we meet our crew and I must say Noomi Rapace is looking HOT, seriously she is now one of my female role models. Another interesting character is the most bad ass looking geologist ever played by one of the actors from The Borgias, a homosexual assassin/torturer/BFF for the pope's son. He has these neat machines, his pups, that get used to map out the area they are exploring. How smart is that? I think this may be one of the first times in a movie where the characters are smart enough to try to figure out what the hell they are getting themselves into before exploring the unknown. A less practical seeming matter is that for some reason their space suits have bicep pads. Are those necessary, and if so what the hell do they do?

So thanks to David the curious android some badassical holograms lead the team to their first dead alien. They assume it is one of their "engineers" just because it was there. Did it ever occur to them there could be multiple alien species out there? But of course they were right and it does turn out to be one of their engineers. And now our curious android friend leads everyone into a room full of canisters that bear a remarkable resemblance to the eggs in Alien... of course it would be a good idea to play with them and take one home. Then of course we see a carving of what looks like the creature from Alien as Space Jesus. Maybe the entire reason the "engineers" created us was to use us as incubators for their alien inventions...

And now back on the ship Noomi's boyfriend gets crazy alien poisoning via our good friend David. Noomi and co. investigate the alien remains to discover the DNA is a match to humans and ponder what killed them. Why doesn't it occur to them that whatever killed these "engineers" could easily kill them as well. Meanwhile some folks trapped in the alien building encounter... awe, it's a baby facehugger. And it turns out Charlize Theron's character is the daughter of the ancient man who funded the mission and invented our robo-friend David (the closest thing he would ever have to a child). This explains why David and Charlize's character look like they could have been siblings. David would be designed to look like his creator and everything makes sense now.

David finds one of the engineers in stasis and that dude looks like bane from the upcoming Batman movie in his stasis getup. Noomi also has a demon monster spawn growing inside of her all because she had sex with her poisoned boyfriend/co-scientist. And that is why even if you are infertile you still use a condom kiddies. She removes it and it is not seen again until the end of the film where it has grown to massive proportions and we learn it is the true proto-facehugger.

I hear that some people are hating on this movie, but I really enjoyed it. I recommend you see it while it is in theatres, but not until you have seen Alien.

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