People Who "Don't Like Horror Movies"

Whenever I tell someone that I love horror movies often they will say something along the lines of "Really? Personally I don't like horror movies." Yet if we end up really discussing it, they usually reveal that the blanket statement they made is not all that true. I only started noticing this trend as recently as this summer when my mother visited and she agreed to come to The Conjuring with me when she realized it wasn't a gory movie, but a ghosty movie. Apparently all this time that I had thought she hated all horror, it was just the blood and guts she wasn't a fan of, ghosts and demonic possession were a-okay for her. Heck she even enjoyed the movie.

Horrifying Birthday Wishes

Everyone gets a heaping pile of facebook messages on their birthday, I decided to make mine a little more interesting by asking people to share with me their favourite horror movie and why it is their favourite, so here are their anonymous responses (I will update it throughout the day as more come in):

-My favorite horror is house of the devil because it is retro styled, well paced, has a cult, is a devil baby movie, and is low budget but high value!

-House on Haunted Hill was a fun one just because it was simple, uncomplicated ghost stuff. Behind the Mask and Dogsoldiers were also awesome, for reasons you know.

-I don't have a favorite horror movie and you know that. You know I have to always cover my eyes, even when watch the B list ones.

-Insidious (the first one) had the ability to make me jump whilst I was watching it on a plane on a tiny screen. Not baaad I'd say! I also thought that The Children was fabulous... although I doubt you'll have seen that as it's British.  (Ariel here, I actually own a copy of The Children)

-Evil Dead. Such a unique and well crafted blend of jump scares, gore, unsettling vibes and humor. Plus it was made on a shoestring budget.

Lords of Salem

I've been procrastinating with the writing of this post for over a month, so finally without further ado let's talk about Salem. I keep wanting to call this movie Salem's Lot, but it is nothing like Salem's Lot, there's not a single vampire to be seen. The Lords of Salem is Rob Zombie's latest offering and his take on the subgenre of witches and satanism. Of course it stars his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as the recovering drug addict/radio DJ Heidi Hawthorne who's family has a dark secret.

Now we the film opens with some gratuitous nudity, but not from the buxom young women most horror aficionados are accustomed to. These women are hardcore witches living in the woods outside of the beloved Salem Massachusetts (not Salem Oregon) and time has certainly had an effect on their devil worshipping bodies. Of course after our history lesson in events of the past we are brought to the present day and a local radio station where our protagonist works alongside a dirty hippie guy and the actor who was in Dawn of the Dead and From Beyond, if you want to know who that is IMDb is quite fun and easy to use.

First time I watched it I thought the movie was about an adorable dog coping with the shortcomings of it's master.

Now our DJ's receive a strange record from "The Lords" which, because this is a horror movie and nothing bad can come of it, they play on the radio. The song on it has a strange effect on the town and drives most of the plot from here on out. We also meet some rather strange women who have a special interest in Heidi Hawthorne.

Today's lesson: Unless it's from your Grandmother, free teatime should never be trusted.

So you're watching the movie and you're pretty sure that you understand what's going on... then the last 20 minutes arrive. If you are able to just lose yourself in the imagery and forget about the plot it's great, but I was left with a feeling of confusion and gratitude that I wasn't epileptic by the end of the movie. Because I knew the plot pulls a disappearing act my second viewing of the film was much more pleasant as I could just revel in the twisted, artsy shots that served as the climax and ending of the movie. I would say that while I would have loved a more satisfying ending, it was still one of the better horror movies I've seen this year, so if given the opportunity you should give it a chance.

If I get a pet goat Satanists will leave me alone right?

Dunbar Haunted House and Kitty "Frights" Halloween Show

Well something tragic has happened to Halloween here in Vancouver, it was announced that this year would be the last year of the Dunbar Haunted House. Having conquered six haunted houses already this year I took my friends up on an offer to go to it this past Sunday. The theme for this year was horror throughout the ages (they billed it as "The Terror of History" and it did not disappoint. The rooms were packed full of props, animatronics, mannequins and actors displaying everything from the horrors of Egypt up to Asylums and slashers. While my insider knowledge allowed me to predict where most of the actors were I was still surprised by some of them and had a sense of impending doom & panic the entire time. Here are the few photos we were able to take, they are all outside since of course there's no photography inside the house.

Prior to Topher learning the rites of succession in the kingdom.

But Anubis, you were always my favourite Egyptian deity!

Enough to make any parent proud.

Is that a canon or are you just happy to see me?

Topher is reunited with his mummy.

Now after we went to the haunted house we decided to attend the Kitty Nights Halloween burlesque show at The Biltmore. As you recall the last burlesque show I went to, The Rock Apocalypse, was rather short on burlesque (to be fair it wasn't supposed to be entirely a burlesque show). Well Kitty Nights didn't disappoint, while it wasn't big on the blood the dancing itself was the best burlesque dancing I've seen so far in Vancouver. The routines had a lot of thought put into them and were clearly well rehearsed. There was also a costume contest, but due to lack of preparedness I was not in costume so I could not enter. The winners of the contest were awesome though. The pair were dressed as Edina and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, and none of my friends understood their costumes.... The staff at the bar were all dressed as Scooby Doo characters and the host of the show was great in his Eddie costume from Rocky Horror. That show was definitely worth the low price of $7 we each had to pay to get in.

And with that I have to start prepping my costume for this year, which you will see photos of very very soon.

Dead on Film Festival, Zombies, Guns and Jane Levy

Well August was quite the busy month. First there was the Dead on Film Festival at The Rio Theatre which was a festival of short horror films where the only requirement was that somebody had to die. Now it was all local films, some of which made specifically for the festival and let me tell you there was quite a variety of quality levels. The best by far though, which also won the festival, was Halloween vs. Battle Royale by LuchaGore Productions. As you can probably guess it was about what would happen if Michael Myers were to choose some of the girls from Battle Royale to be his next victims. We were also treated to some horrific burlesque as the audience votes were tallied and I must say burlesque is so much more interesting when fake blood is involved.

The next big thing to happen in August was my first time being paid to be on set! I was an extra on a tv show who had completed a zombie walk (I'll tell you the show once the episode has come out). I had to come in my own costume and makeup for the part:

Selfie!

I also took another step towards becoming "The Most Badass Woman You Know" by going out into the country to shoot a gun for the first time. Turns out I'm not as terrible at it as I had expected. I apparently got a few "kill shots" on my target. While I didn't get to fire them I also got to handle a cross-bow as well as some more powerful guns than the one I was shooting.

To finish off the month I think I had a celebrity encounter of relevance to this blog. I'm pretty sure I ran into Jane Levy (of Evil Dead remake fame) while I was walking home from work. It felt like a scene out of mean girls as we locked eyes and I started to recognize her. It wasn't until I was out of earshot that I realized who I thought it was and my friend asked if I would like to go back and say hi. Nope, wasn't going to embarrass myself like that!

The ABCs... OF DEATH!

On the 14th I had a great time watching The ABCs of Death at the Rio Theatre's first screening of the film. Incase you don't know the concept behind it The ABCs of Death is 26 short films made by filmmakers around the world, each one with a different letter of the alphabet and a word starting with that letter. So as you can expect the film was a VERY varied bunch. Now because I don't want to give away what the shorts are about, or what the word for each letter is I'll just reveal what letters were some of my favourites.

The letter D was nearly silent and great!

I would definitely rank D, R, S, V & X as some of the best. There were a few in the bunch that didn't seem very horror like and some such as O, W and Z that had me scratching my head and may induce seizures in some (the end credits could also have the same effect). Then there were the segments that made me squirm, so be prepared when you watch L, X(yes it was also one of my favourites) and Y. I also found Ti West's contribution a little disappointing considering how much I enjoyed some of his features.

If you base what the word for R is on this shot, you would probably be wrong.

This movie may have been two hours long but I can only think of one point where it felt like it was dragging on and on, mostly because it was an uncomfortable short to watch. While there were a few exceptions, overall the shorts were great quality with some awesome effects and make-up. The only thing that disappointed me was that not many of the segments had supernatural or occult elements. Yes this has been another short article, I forgot to take notes... so just watch it yourself and form your own opinion!

Six Word Skits: Sometimes They Are Actually Creepy

So some buddies I have back in my home town make videos under the name Skit For Brains and their most recent endeavour has been a series called Six Word Skits. Now you may be wondering "What does this have to do with horror or sci-fi?" Well some of their skits are actually kind of creepy, so read on for some shorts to hopefully put a smirk on your face (I never smile at the internet, smirking is the closest I get)

The First Valloween: Warm Bodies

Now in my personal opinion Valentines day is lame. The only good thing about it is when my parents would give me chocolate, but now that I've moved out that doesn't happen. Community has inspired me to begin celebrating the day before my birthday with Valloween instead of Valentines day. I for one am all for replacing a holiday that just reminds me about being single with an excuse to dress up and watch a tonne of horror movies whilst still getting chocolate. This year it was rather short notice so I celebrated by going to Warm Bodies after I got off of work.

Yes Donald Glover, a thousand times yes, you can be my sexy Dracula!

First Horror Role Part 2: The Film

Alright, awesome news, The Evil Dead in 60 Seconds was released on Friday! Since I know you all are desperate to see it, here it is:

So now that you have seen the video vote for it by going to the Virgin Fake Film Festival website and click the like button below the video! ...or else.

Feeling demonic today?

When it was released on Friday I was pretty much doing a social media frenzy along with everyone else involved and it was the most successful social media...ing I've done. It may sound dorky but I was super excited to be retweeted by horror directors like Nicholas Humphries and The Twisted Twins (Jen & Sylvia Soska) as well as The Rio Theatre and The Storm Crow Tavern. Even my Grampa loved the video!

The short has also had some pretty damn good reception on horror websites, here is a list of links to articles that have been written so far:

Bloody Disgusting
Dread Central
Horrormovies.ca
Daily Dead (I think they chose an awesome picture to represent the film)
Horror Society
i09?
We Came From The Basement

I can't express in words how excited I am that something I worked on is getting exposure on all these websites (and hopefully more to come). Some of them even mention my name!!

Next up in the last instalment of this series of articles is how we did in the festival (vote for us so we do well!)

First Horror Role Part 1: On Set

If any of you have been wondering why I haven't posted in a while it is because I have been VERY busy and this series of posts is about one of the many things that has kept me busy, MY FIRST EVER HORROR ROLE! It is an entry in this year's Virgin Radio Fake Film Festival. I'll give you some clues to see if you can figure out which film it was we made a 60 second version of. 1.) There is a remake of it coming out this year 2.) Contrary to popular belief the monsters aren't zombies, but Candarian Demons 3.) My character's name is Cheryl 4.) Seriously you haven't figured it out yet? Fine, it was the film that brought Bruce Campbell into popular culture. That's right, the film we remade was:

For a behind the scenes look read on.

2012: Some of it was Awesome and Some of it Sucked

Well Now that there is officially no more time for me to watch any 2012 horror films in 2012 I have compiled my list of the best I saw, and the worst. I actually made an effort this year to watch horror movies that came out this year, wish I'd seen more, but hey that's what 2013 is for. Both lists are in no particular order.

Resident Evil: Retribution (or I think there are too many Resident Evil movies)

Now this review is on the late side as I am sure Resident Evil is no longer in theatres, but I had far more pressing things to blog about so it was put on the back burner. Anywho, this is the fifth instalment of the franchise loosely (very loosely) based on the hit video game series. There will be spoilers so only read on if you are ok with that.

DEDfest Part 2: Creepshow

The second film I had the pleasure of viewing at DEDfest was the anthology film from the minds of George A. Romero and Stephen King, of course you know what it's called (and if you don't please just google horror anthology films and come back once you have watched the top ten from your research). Right off the bat I will tell you it starts in a classic way that every parent should learn from, NEVER throw away your child's comic books... EVER.

He clearly missed parenting 101

Also their monster host felt a lot like a Crypt Keeper knock-off, but perhaps this was before the Tales From the Crypt Keeper movie yet, I'm not in the mood to look it up right now so for more info you're on your own.

Click on to read the rest of the review.

DEDFest Victoria Part 1: Night of the Living Dead

I was intensely excited to go to my first solely horror film festival and while it didn't seem the rest of the city was quite as enthusiastic as me based on attendance I was still jazzed to be there and had a great time. It was planned to coincide perfectly with the zombie walk starting about an hour after the walk finished and located close to the end point. You would think that more zombies would have shuffled on over, but apparently some of them had to help set-up for a marathon. Anyways in honour of the festival, which I hope will begin to thrive in coming years, I am doing a mini-review of each of the films (mini because I was enjoying myself far to much to take a lot of notes). First on the hit list the George A. Romero classic that started it all, Night of the Living Dead. Continue on for my observations.

And not this nearly unrelated failure that I saw in 2D.

And the Dead Will Walk the Earth

This past Saturday I had pretty much a perfect day. I went on my first ever zombie walk followed by going to a horror movie film festival called DedFest. Most of you are probably thinking "What do you mean YOU have never done a zombie walk before!?!" Well in the past I have always been working or out of town. And here is photo proof that it happened:

Those were tasty.

Read on for more photos.

Children's Horror Part 1: ParaNorman

Well it is officially Autumn and that means that people aside from me are going to start getting excited about Halloween. With this comes movie channels gradually moving to horror movies 24/7 until the wonderful month of October is over. It also means that children's channels will start showing Halloween and junior horror films. What is a junior horror film you might ask? Well there aren't as many good ones to point to in recent history, but if you are around my age you might remember a few. To me a good junior horror movie has 1. a real monster, 2. a combination of jump scares and humour 3. a lack of real blood and gore so parents don't feel they are corrupting their children & 4. at least a couple of jokes or moments only the adults being forced to watch these with the wee ones will get. A prime example to me are the Scooby Doo movies of the late 90s where there are real zombies & a twist I didn't see coming as a kid and in the other they solve a mystery of a fake witch only to have it turn out there is a real witch's curse that gets released by a Stephen King wannabe. Another would be Beetlejuice, I mean come on who doesn't love Beetlejuice? I'd watch Beetlejuice anytime of th- OH SHIT I said his name three times!

I hope you now understand what I mean when I say junior horror because this is the first in an ongoing series of articles basically about modern junior horror . And for our first instalment for your reading pleasure is my observational review of ParaNorman. If you don't want any accidental spoilers than please watch the movie, then read this. Otherwise click on to read more.

My Macabre Mind (Linda Blair, Walking Dead Finale & Upcoming Movies)

If you remember, last month I went to the Victoria Film Festival to see A Little Bit Zombie. Well the festival also had an event with Linda Blair as a special guest and a showing of The Exorcist. Unfortunately I was unable to stay in town for that, but a family friend Wendy seemed to be able to meet the first person to vomit on film. It turns out Linda Blair cares a lot about dogs so Wendy called her people to see if she would come to the local SPCA which Linda quickly replied and obliged. Wendy even remembered me and GOT LINDA BLAIR'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME! She is also the owner of the local video store Pic A Flic which has a great selection of horror and cult films. As well she has a photography book as a fundraiser for the SPCA. Find it here.

PROOF!

Walking Dead spoilers following the jump.

A Little Bit Crazy

I must apologize to those of you who have been waiting for my next article with bated breath. I have been a little busy WATCHING HORROR MOVIES *gasp* because I have a little bit of catching up to do if I'm going to watch my 200th on Wednesday. In fact, I'm watching one as I type. So first on the list let me tell you about my time at A Little Bit Zombie.

It was bigger on the inside.

The evening started when I lined up with my friend to get in. We were outside and a limosine pulled up and I just got super excited as the cast and crew of the movie came out. I was quite frustrated though when we couldn't see them from the line-up for their movie because people waiting to buy tickets for hollywood movies were all standing in the way. Then we were in the theatre and the movie started, that's right, no commercials, just straight into the movie. Now this review is harder for me than usual because I was so into the movie I couldn't take notes. Also I really don't want to give anything away because it was so funny in it's own right and I want you to watch it yourself. Stephen McHattie is amazing off the top as a battered zombie hunter, sexually harassing his assistant Penelope (Emilie Ullerup). I especially found him amusing since I had seen his performances in Pontypool and You Might As Well Live. Then we get to the main cast on a cabin retreat in preparation for a happy couple's upcoming wedding. They all have great chemistry together combining the lovable Steve (Kristopher Turner), Bridezilla Tina (Crystal Lowe), meat head Craig (Shawn Roberts) and his wife/Steve's sister Sarah the celiac (Kristen Hager). One of the keys to the plot is the fact that Sarah and Tina hate each other, and how you can really tell that is that Tina makes everyone quiche and Sarah eats it... quiche is not gluten free. When you do watch this one (which you will or else) make sure to keep your eyes open to allusions to The Evil Dead trilogy. So in conclusion when you can get your hands on this one, you are in for a hilarious time.

Got any suggestions for a toothache?

Second I've now found a reality tv show that I actually like and don't feel guilty about watching. This show is Face Off and is a competition for special effects make-up artists. I've only watched two episodes, but in one of them the contestants had to create horror movie villains based on different phobias and there was some amazing stuff, also some really crappy stuff, but mostly really amazing stuff.

Third, this weekend I had a great time being an extra on the set of Leap 4 Your Life, which isn't a horror or sci-fi project, but was really fun (even got some free food out of it). How this ties into the Horror Hub is that I got to hang out on set with some of the stars and creators of an upcoming horror movie called Death Do Us Part. From what I've read about it the beginning is quite similar to A Little Bit Zombie because it is about a wedding party going out to a cabin in the woods before the nuptials. I am really excited for this one since it is another Canadian production and who knows, maybe I'll be able to get an interview with some of the cast and crew for the blog.

Finally this isn't a horror or sci-fi movie either, but I watched this movie called Best Day Ever and while it doesn't really have much to do with my blog I was legitimately surprised by the ending. Well I suppose what does make it horrifying is that it was real. I can't imagine anyone my age or younger going through that.

Before There Can Be Retribution, There Must Be an Afterlife

First off let me say, I didn't even start out planning to review this movie, but as soon as it started the witty commentary came to me so I had to write about it. Now as per usual I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, but sometimes accidents happen and plot points might be given away (ie if a character were to die in a rather comical way) so for those who don't want any chances of having the movie spoiled avert ye eyes and don't read on after the jump.

So since when is the character only in the first two minutes of the film
poster worthy?

Fear for the Future

I just quickly wanted to update you with what some of the awesome stuff that I will be doing February will be.

First of all I'm going to be going to the WORLD PREMIERE of A Little Bit Zombie (okay so its at a film festival and I bought a ticket, but still). Words cannot describe the excitement I feel. There were crackly squeals of joy coming from me if that helps you imagine my sheer joy. In fact, just so that you can share my excitement here is the trailer (and here is a link to their website):

My next bit of exciting news is that my birthday is coming up, and I have figured out how I am going to celebrate it. I am going to watch my 200th horror film, which means I really need to get on watching over 20 of them by then. If you have any ideas of which movie I should use for this momentous occasion please leave it in the comment section below.