People Who "Don't Like Horror Movies"

Whenever I tell someone that I love horror movies often they will say something along the lines of "Really? Personally I don't like horror movies." Yet if we end up really discussing it, they usually reveal that the blanket statement they made is not all that true. I only started noticing this trend as recently as this summer when my mother visited and she agreed to come to The Conjuring with me when she realized it wasn't a gory movie, but a ghosty movie. Apparently all this time that I had thought she hated all horror, it was just the blood and guts she wasn't a fan of, ghosts and demonic possession were a-okay for her. Heck she even enjoyed the movie.

Creepy Christmas 2012: Silent Night

Yes, I know it's a little late, but this was probably one of my favourite events of the holiday season. It was at The Rio and hosted by the Twisted Twins aka the Soska Sisters who have American Mary coming out soon, although who knows when it will get a theatrical release from Anchor Bay. I even won a free t-shirt although they made fun of my Cowichan style sweater, my Grandma made it. They then skyped the director of the film on the audience's behalf. Here are a few of the things he had to say:

-The Coca Cola Santa is creepy
-He went balls to the wall with this movie
-Malcolm McDowell is amazing and a straight badass
-He will tweet with you about his movie (@StevenCMiller)
-Get ready to be fucked up by watching this movie

Then the Soska sisters started handing out t-shirts and I won one! But not before they made fun of my Cowichan style sweater... my dead grandma made it. Once all the t-shirts were gone the evening of film started with Treevenge! I felt so awesome having already seen it and this time I actually noticed J-Roc from the Trailer Park Boys in it.

And now for the actual movie you all want so badly to hear about.

Creepy Christmas 2012: Saint... and a Christmas Tree.

So I couple weeks back I watched another Christmas horror movie (well St. Nicholas Day which is actually on the 5th, but it counts). It is from the Netherlands and deals with a rare occurance when St. Nicholas Day happens to be a full moon, so St. Nicholas comes back and kidnaps/kills a massive chunk of the population of Amsterdam. Now this is actually a spoiler free post because this movie didn't leave as much of an impression on me as Rare Exports did last year.

I did however learn a few things about St. Nicholas Day through the movie, such as the involvement of people dressed in black face for the holiday. I was rather taken aback by that just like the first time I saw morris(probably spelling that wrong) dancers as a child. Also people write very dirty poems to accompany their gifts which I think would be a fun tradition to take up here in Canada. When I started watching at first I thought it might have been from the early 2000's because of the outfits the girls were wearing, very tacky and trashy... and skimpy for a place where there is actually snow. Turns out they were just very unfashionable people. Here's the trailer for those wanting a sampling of the movie's aesthetics:

Now in my ranking of "Not Yo Mama's Christmas movies" I would rank this one below Rare Exports, but above Santa's Slay. I particularly enjoyed the opening scenes which impressed me with how much story they told without dialogue. Unfortunately I feel that may have set my standards a bit too high for the rest of the film. Not to say that it was bad, just a little disappointing. The FX were of decent quality and while I wouldn't make this a perennial favourite I would say it is a fun watch.

I am currently skyping with my parents whilst they trim their tree and that has inspired me to share a picture of my Christmas tree for this year.

That's Princess Leia at the top with a Sonic Screwdriver behind her. There are also zombie parts thrown in there and worms in place of tinsel.

You can expect a best and worst of 2012 list in the coming weeks as well as a review of the new movie Silent Night. Hope your holidays are proving horrific so far!

Creepy Christmas 2012: Treevenge

I thought the picture was cool, I have absolutely no idea who this drunken clown is.

Well it is the 1st of December and you know what that means... It's completely socially acceptable to start watching Christmas/holiday themed horror movies!!!!! Today I started off my holiday season with a short film I had heard about last year called Treevenge. It was made in 2008 and turns out to be Canadian, which made me happy. The film creates some great comedic moments through the communication of trees and some hilarious gore. It made me quite glad that for the first time in my life I'm having a fake tree this year.

Read on to watch the 16 minute film, it's worth it.

Holidays Can Be Horrific (2011 Year End Summary)

Alright, now that everyone is back at work/school, time to get back to writing about weirdness. I took a break during my break to spend some quality time with my screen play (which contrary to popular belief is not a romantic comedy). Here is some of the most terrorific things I did this holiday season.

My New Years Eve was spent at the release party for the pilot episode of the awesome webseries (I happen to be apart of) called 4Villains. Watch this EVIL pilot by clicking here. I have two New Years resolutions this year 1) to make new friends in the city I live in and 2) to watch enough horror/sci-fi movies that come out in 2012 to be able to compile a Best of and Worst of list.

Earlier that day I had a small celebration of Halloween in December with one of my closest friends. To celebrate we made Gingerdead Men and watched the hilarious and awesome Norwegian film Trollhunter, which was one of the best found footage films I've seen in a long time.

Another exciting thing that I did last year, it feels so strange saying that, was I went with another one of my closest friends to my first ever metal show. I will assure you that pits were moshed and heads were banged. The band we saw was Deckard Cain at a bar called The Cambie... where apparently my parents met (I wonder if metal bands played there back then).

Oh I also did an awesomely creepy photoshoot with another one of my very close friends, so here are some of the eerie images:

Now I am about to start bragging about my schveet Christmas/Jul swag after the break. So if you don't want to be jealous stop reading now.

Christmastime is here, lets make it creepy Pt. 3 (Christmas Eve Mutterings)

Well before we all saturate ourselves in various roasted beasts I thought I would give out a few more out there Christmas thoughts to mull over. First of all when it comes to gift giving I have found some great stuff this year, such as: Gingerdead Men cookie cutters, toxic waste drinking glasses, the evidence knife, blood soaked shower curtains and the albums A Very Scary Solstice and An Even Scarier Solstice. If any of these things were to be found under my tree or in my stocking, it would be a very merry Christmas indeed.

Christmas baking just became even more fun for me.

So I am at my parents house for Christmas and tonight my dad and I made a few gingerbread cookies, he started to get a bit more original:

My Dad just keeps getting more awesome

In the movie world I found out something pretty neat, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale which I loved was actually based on two short films starring the same Finnish men. Here are the links to them: Rare Exports Inc. and its sequel Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions. I also watched the Bump In the Night Christmas Special and it was a great trip down memory lane. Of course I had to hear about another film to add to my list of ones to watch, Treevenge, so it may be watched within the next 24 hours.

Well it is getting late and I want to get to bed so I can wake up in the morning and find out what Santa/Odin/The Wizard of Yule brought me.

Christmastime is here, lets make it creepy Pt. 2 (Rare Exports & Santa's Slay)

Well it has been just a bit over a week since I stated the Christmas movies I wanted to see this year... and I've already watched both of them. So now I get to tell you all about them, but I will be keeping it short and sweet so that the magic of them won't be ruined before you ahead of time.

Most boring workplace ever.

First let me tell you about what is now one of my favourite Christmas movies. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale has completely re-affirmed my love of Scandinavian horror/supernatural films. First Dead Snow from Norway, then Let the Right One In from Sweden and now Rare Exports from Finland, somehow the Scandinavians know how to develop characters so that I actually care about them. In essence this movie is about an American company digging up Santa in Finland, who was not the loveable elf we grew up with, a Finnish family finds a rather surly naked old man and try to sell him back to the company. The son in this film may at the beginning seem nothing more than an innocent naive little boy, but by the end of the film I can guarantee you will think he is one of the most badass kids on screen.

Sometimes badasses come in adorable packages.

Now most websites have classified this movie as horror, but personally I would classify it as a supernatural adventure. In fact if it weren't for the amount of F-bombs dropped I would classify this movie as rather family friendly with pretty much a zero death toll and only one gory scene. I would say that if you have older kids (roughly 10 and up), who you are alright with hearing swear words, this is a great movie to rent for your family this holiday season. Also a great accompaniment for this movie would be a nice plate of gingerbread cookies. I certainly know I will be sharing it with my family this Christmas once our baking is done.

Next up we have Santa's Slay, definitely less family friendly and well less character and plot development to be honest. So it turns out Santa is actually the son of Satan, but after losing a bet he was forced to be nice for 1000 years and it just so happened that 2005 (the year the film was made) is 1000 years after that bet. Santa is then free in the film to wreak all the havoc he missed out on for that millennium during his birthday (Christmas) and the only people who can stop him are a 16 year old, his crazy grandpa who knows the truth and his girlfriend.

The only other time I've seen Santa this ripped was in
Santa with Muscles

Now while this movie is by no means a cinematic masterpiece, what it is great for is a good old fashioned horror movie marathon with a large group of friends. I watched it with a friend, so even when we got distracted, we were still able to keep up with what was going on in the plot. Since what I have learned from experience in a good horror movie night, by the second movie most people actually aren't paying attention so one that doesn't have dialogue as a must that you can easily follow makes a great choice. Also it is definitely full of some great Christmas puns and a fair amount of cameos at the beginning. So watch it with these things in mind and you will have a great time with Santa's Slay.

Oh so since I am trying to think of more creepy, offbeat or scary Christmas movies I will be searching for a Chrismas special from a show I loved during my childhood, Mr. Bumpy and another horror movie I read about briefly called Saint. I will be sure to tell you how those go.

Christmastime is here, lets make it creepy Pt. 1

It's that time of the year again, when couples constantly cozy up, children make their wishlists and families gather to celebrate the season together. Yes like most people I too enjoy the upbeat tradition filled side of the season, but that doesn't mean I become some sweet little cheezy girl, no I still love horror and science fiction during the holidays. There is even so much Christmas themed material to choose from. So to start off your holiday season right, here is a list of some more interesting films involving Christmas in some way:

-The Children (reaffirmed my lack of desire to reproduce)
-Black Christmas (I've only seen the original)
-Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (so bad it's good)
-Edward Scissor Hands (little less obvious than Nightmare Before Christmas)

As the season goes along I will be adding some more films to this list. So far this year I am hoping to watch Santa's Slay and Rare Exports.