People Who "Don't Like Horror Movies"

Whenever I tell someone that I love horror movies often they will say something along the lines of "Really? Personally I don't like horror movies." Yet if we end up really discussing it, they usually reveal that the blanket statement they made is not all that true. I only started noticing this trend as recently as this summer when my mother visited and she agreed to come to The Conjuring with me when she realized it wasn't a gory movie, but a ghosty movie. Apparently all this time that I had thought she hated all horror, it was just the blood and guts she wasn't a fan of, ghosts and demonic possession were a-okay for her. Heck she even enjoyed the movie.

Horrifying Birthday Wishes

Everyone gets a heaping pile of facebook messages on their birthday, I decided to make mine a little more interesting by asking people to share with me their favourite horror movie and why it is their favourite, so here are their anonymous responses (I will update it throughout the day as more come in):

-My favorite horror is house of the devil because it is retro styled, well paced, has a cult, is a devil baby movie, and is low budget but high value!

-House on Haunted Hill was a fun one just because it was simple, uncomplicated ghost stuff. Behind the Mask and Dogsoldiers were also awesome, for reasons you know.

-I don't have a favorite horror movie and you know that. You know I have to always cover my eyes, even when watch the B list ones.

-Insidious (the first one) had the ability to make me jump whilst I was watching it on a plane on a tiny screen. Not baaad I'd say! I also thought that The Children was fabulous... although I doubt you'll have seen that as it's British.  (Ariel here, I actually own a copy of The Children)

-Evil Dead. Such a unique and well crafted blend of jump scares, gore, unsettling vibes and humor. Plus it was made on a shoestring budget.

Fiction Factions: Heroes of Horror, Masters of Macabre

Last night I attended the best live show I've seen so far this year. It was called Fiction Factions and was a competition between Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft and some other author who's books I haven't read (that would be you H.G. Wells) embodied by JJ Webb, Stephen W.B. Blakley Mason and Tyler James Nicol in that particular order. They used every form of performance possible to prove they were tops (much like Poe's 12 year old cousin/bride) starting with the always lovely art of women taking their clothes off to music. The lovely ladies who danced their arses off for the authors were Sherry Hymen (crystal egg themed performance), Voodoo Pixie (Dagon, culty tentacle themed) and Melody Mangler (macabre, Victorian tell-tale heart themed). Is it just me or is burlesque infinitely better when it's dark and sinister?

2013: The Top of the Heap

It's that time of the year again, the end. When everyone reflects on all the things that happened this year. Well I'm going to participate in that by in no particular order listing my favourite horror films of 2013.

Lords of Salem

I've been procrastinating with the writing of this post for over a month, so finally without further ado let's talk about Salem. I keep wanting to call this movie Salem's Lot, but it is nothing like Salem's Lot, there's not a single vampire to be seen. The Lords of Salem is Rob Zombie's latest offering and his take on the subgenre of witches and satanism. Of course it stars his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as the recovering drug addict/radio DJ Heidi Hawthorne who's family has a dark secret.

Now we the film opens with some gratuitous nudity, but not from the buxom young women most horror aficionados are accustomed to. These women are hardcore witches living in the woods outside of the beloved Salem Massachusetts (not Salem Oregon) and time has certainly had an effect on their devil worshipping bodies. Of course after our history lesson in events of the past we are brought to the present day and a local radio station where our protagonist works alongside a dirty hippie guy and the actor who was in Dawn of the Dead and From Beyond, if you want to know who that is IMDb is quite fun and easy to use.

First time I watched it I thought the movie was about an adorable dog coping with the shortcomings of it's master.

Now our DJ's receive a strange record from "The Lords" which, because this is a horror movie and nothing bad can come of it, they play on the radio. The song on it has a strange effect on the town and drives most of the plot from here on out. We also meet some rather strange women who have a special interest in Heidi Hawthorne.

Today's lesson: Unless it's from your Grandmother, free teatime should never be trusted.

So you're watching the movie and you're pretty sure that you understand what's going on... then the last 20 minutes arrive. If you are able to just lose yourself in the imagery and forget about the plot it's great, but I was left with a feeling of confusion and gratitude that I wasn't epileptic by the end of the movie. Because I knew the plot pulls a disappearing act my second viewing of the film was much more pleasant as I could just revel in the twisted, artsy shots that served as the climax and ending of the movie. I would say that while I would have loved a more satisfying ending, it was still one of the better horror movies I've seen this year, so if given the opportunity you should give it a chance.

If I get a pet goat Satanists will leave me alone right?

And Hallowe'en Came to an End (Been Blogging for 2 Years)

Jack o lanterns, they just get better with age.

Well it's a few days late, but the most wonderful time of the year has come to an end. And somehow over the past two years I've had over 9000 clicks on this here blog. Wondering why I wasn't posting on Hallowe'en? That's because I was busy watching women strip whilst dousing themselves in blood. Yes, I went to the Bloody Betty Black Mass, of course a few movies were watched prior to the 9pm show (Addams Family and Trick 'r Treat if you were wondering) as well as the completion of my pumpkin carving task and getting my costume prepped and ready. Now you can read on for photos of my pumpkins, an assessment of the Bloody Betty show and my annual list of all the horror movies I've watched.

Dunbar Haunted House and Kitty "Frights" Halloween Show

Well something tragic has happened to Halloween here in Vancouver, it was announced that this year would be the last year of the Dunbar Haunted House. Having conquered six haunted houses already this year I took my friends up on an offer to go to it this past Sunday. The theme for this year was horror throughout the ages (they billed it as "The Terror of History" and it did not disappoint. The rooms were packed full of props, animatronics, mannequins and actors displaying everything from the horrors of Egypt up to Asylums and slashers. While my insider knowledge allowed me to predict where most of the actors were I was still surprised by some of them and had a sense of impending doom & panic the entire time. Here are the few photos we were able to take, they are all outside since of course there's no photography inside the house.

Prior to Topher learning the rites of succession in the kingdom.

But Anubis, you were always my favourite Egyptian deity!

Enough to make any parent proud.

Is that a canon or are you just happy to see me?

Topher is reunited with his mummy.

Now after we went to the haunted house we decided to attend the Kitty Nights Halloween burlesque show at The Biltmore. As you recall the last burlesque show I went to, The Rock Apocalypse, was rather short on burlesque (to be fair it wasn't supposed to be entirely a burlesque show). Well Kitty Nights didn't disappoint, while it wasn't big on the blood the dancing itself was the best burlesque dancing I've seen so far in Vancouver. The routines had a lot of thought put into them and were clearly well rehearsed. There was also a costume contest, but due to lack of preparedness I was not in costume so I could not enter. The winners of the contest were awesome though. The pair were dressed as Edina and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, and none of my friends understood their costumes.... The staff at the bar were all dressed as Scooby Doo characters and the host of the show was great in his Eddie costume from Rocky Horror. That show was definitely worth the low price of $7 we each had to pay to get in.

And with that I have to start prepping my costume for this year, which you will see photos of very very soon.